Guest Post by DatingEnlightenment.com: Is that new woman really the woman for you? Will you enjoy being with her for a long time, or will your relationship eventually head into disaster territory? Unless you can see into the future, you will not know for sure. However, there are some indicators that your relationship is going to stand the test of time. Following are six of those indicators.
1. Mrs. Right Has No Unresolved Issues
Past issues that have not been resolved are often referred to as baggage. That baggage can cause major problems down the road in your relationship. Common unresolved issues involve trust and self-esteem. For instance, if she has been cheated on in the past, and she has not dealt with that and let it go, then she may be holding on to feelings of anxiety and mistrust. Later on in your relationship that mistrust can manifest itself into blame, anger, and hurt because your relationship has not been built on trust (the backbone of a healthy relationship) due to her inability to completely trust you. If she has no issues, and has dealt with her past in a way that has allowed her to move on, then you get to start your relationship with a clean slate. This will allow you to move forward in a happy, baggage-free manner.
#2. Mrs. Right is Not Like Your Mother
Your mother gave you life and provided for you, but she also has a sense of ownership over you and your decisions. Your mother may want you to be someone you are not or pursue a career that you do not want to pursue. In short, she may not be completely satisfied with the man who you are. Ensure your woman is nothing like your mother. She shouldn’t be trying to change you into someone you are not. If she is, then she will end up disappointed in you when you don’t change, and you will end up resentful that she can’t accept you for who you are.
3. Mrs. Right is Not a Drama Queen
A drama queen is going to make your life miserable down the road until she loses the need for drama, which may or may not happen. A drama queen is someone who looks for negative situations whether they are there or not. If she is a drama queen, then she may start a fight with a waiter over a look he gave her or a woman who glanced your way. In fact, she is willing to make something out of nothing no matter where she is or who it is over. Life with someone who doesn’t make mountains out of mole hills will be less stressful and more positive. The right woman will not be a drama queen.
4. Mrs. Right Supports Your Dreams and Goals
The right woman will support you in your life and the choices that you make. In fact, she may be the only one who supports you! That is the beauty of a happy, intimate, and successful relationship; you always have each other’s backs, even if the world around you falls apart. If she shows signs of being your biggest supporter, no matter what your dreams and goals are, then she is going to make you happy no matter which way your life turns.
5. Mrs. Right Makes You Laugh
She may make you feel good and supported, but does she make you laugh? It is not enough that you make her laugh and feel good, she has to be able to return the favor. Life is better when you laugh your way through it, and having an intimate partner who can make you laugh will be a blessing when times get tough. And tough times are in every one’s future.
6. Mrs. Right is Optimistic
Do you want to spend your life reassuring a woman, or would you rather have a woman who looks at the cup half-full and needs little reassurance about the happiness in her life? Negative and sarcastic people may be funny or semi-grounding at first, but they will take their toll on your happiness in the end. Ensure your woman is willing to see the positive side of things on her own. This doesn’t mean that you won’t need to support her in times of trouble, but it does mean that she won’t spend her life focused on the bad and negative, and bring you down with her.
In the end, if she is displays the above six signs, the chances of you having a successful, happy relationship are much higher than if she doesn’t display them. The point is that ‘misses right’ is a woman who is going to make you happy for years to come, and if she doesn’t make you happy right now, then she probably won’t make you happy in the future.
Stephan’s Side Note: sometimes you meet the right person but at the wrong time. so for example if she still has unresolved issues that doesn’t mean she isn’t the woman for you it’s just that now is not a good time to get in to a serious relationship with her.
Men want love too!! Go and get your copy of He Who Finds A Wife, the book that both men and women can learn a lot from. Here on Amazon or to get the e-book in PDF format click here.
79 thoughts on “6 Signs That She Is Mrs. Right”
I got all these 6 qualities but still single. I guess nobody has seen them in me yet. Patiently waiting though,
You are capable of all 6 but some things depend on the man you are dealing with. For example one man may think your hilarious while the next is not amused by your humor : ). Also sometimes people don’t see them because they are hidden behind the walls some of us put up in an attempt to protect ourselves. Last thing, I’m sure some have seen these qualities in you but you haven’t seen what you wanted in them and therefore the process shall continue.
Very true! I probably haven’t seen the qualities I want in the men yet, i’m sure there is one out there who has them all but I just don’t know who is that lucky one yet. Thanks for ur input
Joelle Paul, you hit it right on the head: “…I guess nobody has seen them in me yet.” Timing is such a critical part in all this. All of the points together make for one incredible woman, but having them doesn’t mean they’ll be appreciated and wanted. Fact is (sadly) some men want a lady with issues, just to have something to keep you, or use against you…..
Maybe you’re too good? Just kidding 😉
Moses maybe im too good for real lol sad thing is a guy told me that once lol I couldn’t help but laugh I mean who doesn’t want a “too good” woman by his side? Lol means he is not ready to be too god man either lo so I’ll wait for the one will recognize this in me.
That’s it right there. Remain steadfast, yet receptive.
Happy New Year
happy new year to you as well Moses, much more love, blessings from the most high, health, and especially more money for you
Idk. It seems like women are told to deal with some things with men, but men are told to marry a perfect woman. That’s why so many men are just screwing over a bunch of women. They’re playing around until they find Ms. Perfect. There are good women out there, who aren’t perfect. “Makes you laugh?” Say if she’s a great woman, but she’s just not the funny type. No man should marry her, because she can’t crack a joke? And everyone has a little baggage. True, you shouldn’t be with someone who has a lot, but I guarantee you, both male and female, have some baggage. “She’s Not Like Your Mother.” Not everyone’s mother is like how you described. There are some nice, supporting mothers, who don’t force their views and expectations on their children. All I’m trying to say is no one is perfect. Just find someone who is perfect for you. There is no one-size fits all approach to finding the right person. I believe God will bring the right person in your life at the right time, and you’ll know and be happy, whether he/she is perfect or not. I’m not trying to attack you or anything. Take no offense. But I just don’t think this is completely accurate, and it might cause some guys to give up on their diamond in the rough looking for something better. It’s like the 80/20 rule. No human being is 100. But when God brings two people together, they can be 100 together…with His help and direction. Yes, get your stuff together before you get married…find yourself before you get married…forgive and let go of the past…but even after all that, no one is going to be 100% perfect. Only God is perfect.
First let me say that this was a guest post but I will address the concerns you raised. I agree that many women are told they should deal with some things but I assure you I am not one of those people. I want to see individuals enter in to the best relationship for them with the person that is best for them. I don’t think a woman having the qualities listed above means she is perfect. These are just some core things to look for when a man is choosing a partner to spend his life with. I agree that unfortunately many men are just playing around with women but there is more to it than that. If she can’t crack a joke some men would not care and some men will. So that depends on the man and what is important to him. Yes everyone has baggage but we all need to do a better job of addressing our issues before getting in to a serious commitment. Many times it is those same issues that eventually destroy the relationship. I agree with you about the mother part. When I read that I felt the same way as you but I do think a man should steer away from a woman who treats him as her child and as if she is his mother…not usually a good recipe for a great relationship (for the man or the woman). I agree there is no one-size fits all but I don’t think that is what the author is saying in this article. There are so many other traits and factors to consider. Some men want a woman that cooks, some don’t care. Some like a conservative woman, some like them wild. Again this article is just speaking to some core things but there is much more at play. Certain things can be sacraficed but overlooking some of these things is typically a setup for trouble ahead. As you stated nobody is perfect but you have to find the person that is perfect for you. Other than the mother part and the cracking jokes (but she should be able to make him smile) I don’t think it would be wise to ignore the other four.
I agree with you!
Love your response, thank you!
So you are saying that some men/ women want these qualities, such as these above and a little more or less and some don’t.. It depends on the individual, right?
The article is saying this is what a man should be looking for. Some things are negotiable but ignoring some of these things is a setup for disaster. What depends on the individual are more specific traits/skills such as can she cook, does she like the outdoors, is she into the arts, etc. Those things will vary greatly as to what the man is drawn to or would like in his life. This article is discussing core traits that a man should be mindful of.
i had all of these but my ex left me for someone who was rich
I was all this but he still cheated on me, broke up with him and that was a year and 4 months ago. He won’t let me go though, even coming to my home in the early hours of the morning, like 2am just to say hi. I still love him very much though. To really be honest I don’t know what he wants (no sarcasm) as he says he loves and doesn’t want to loose me in his life but he has a girlfriend. What’s going on here?
Email me at advice@stephanspeaks.com if you would like to discuss this further.
If he has a girlfriend and is still telling you those things…… He is trying out a newer model and holding you as a back up. Because if he seriously loved you and wanted to be with you, he would prove that through his words and actions.
Can you say stalker like tendencies and possessive. I’m just saying.
Sometimes you can have all the right qualities but you yourself are still looking for and are attracted to the wrong type yourself.
I can see all of these except #1 – is anyone truly baggage free? Feel like we are all a work in progress. But what do I know i’m 37 and single. 🙂 See sense of humor right there! Ha!
Nailed it. 😛
I think you should change baggage to communication. Everyone has baggage in one form or another. That's life. Not too many people aren't a tad insecure or unsure when they are starting a relationship, that is the time that you are getting to know each other's likes/wants/needs. The key is to be open and honest about yourself so that the other person has the chance to know you. All the other points that you made I agree with completely.
this could be reversed right? As I read it many of the steps took form of a few guys I have dated.
this could be reversed right? As I read it many of the steps took form of a few guys I have dated.
Happiness come from within our self not from the outside our true happiness is always up to us not other people.
This article should have been address to both sexes and not just men. Believe me women also have be on the lookout for the kind of baggage men are caring before entering into relationship with them. In my opinion, women are guilty of being this, that or the other in a man’s eyes until she proves herself not to be.
Gotta support Stephan on this one. You're right, Ms. Hickman, that insecurities and uncertainties characterize new relationships, and sometimes are just idiosyncratic to us crazy ladies. BUT there's a huge difference between feeling a little self-conscious in those new jeans, and having jitters over the new guy you're dating, and still holding on to feelings of scorn because of past infidelity, or a lack of closure from past relationships.
Instead of thinking we know it all, relationships and ultimately marriage would go a lot better if we took the time to get educated. Lets face it all we know is not all there is to know. Before we enter into a relationship it would be helpful to first of all see what the Word of God has to say about how to treat a woman or a man. Many times this is not our approach because of past pain or a lack of teaching. So ultimately we enter relationships with a limited shelf life. We can actually connect with a Blessing from God and completely destroy it. Misuse always turns into abuse many times not even being aware of our behavior. For a man who was raised in a home where public displays of affection were very very limited he thinks penetration is the height of sexual pleasure. When in all reality a great lover can have his woman ready to explode before she even gets to the bedroom. The way this is done is by romancing her during the day. A real woman wants her man to make her needs of the utmost importance. Quick suggestion, pick a day any day send her Roses just because and write on the card nothing will ever be to much to please you. Then send a text and tell her to put her order in for THE WHOLE EVENING AND YOU BE READY PLEASE FROM TOP TO BOTTOM! By the same token if a female was raised in an atmosphere were she was made to think she is to dominate her man will eventually kill her relationship. A woman should use all the charm and sexy God given ability to blow her man away and always let him know that she needs him and he is NO.1 in her life. Example when it's time to make love, easy access lingerie all the way. We are visual creatures use what you already have and blow his mind! Now these are just a few things we can do and there are many more. The important thing is for couples to realize that, it only happens if you mature enough to make it happen!
A little wisdom goes a long way………….
We all have unresolved issues at many stages in our life……women have issues men. Sounds like someone didn't like there other. I guess I don't agree with some of these.
Fantastic article.
Relationships arent about whos making you happy, because its impossible to do that. But if you find that the best qualities within yourself they push you in, even if they are uncomfortable they just may be the right one. Its kind of childish to think that a person should make you happy. Joy should rest on you in the comfort that someone has your back and is pushing you to do something great with your life. People that strive to be happy usually sleep around and relationship hop, thinking and looking for someone to make them happy rather than looking for someone to make them grow and mature. We live in a society of emotionally immature adults.
Hey! Don't make me give up my sarcasm. I'm willing to compromise, but dangit, that's where I draw the line.
Sometimes it is not about timing,its about what that man or women wants at the time. This to me is not all the qualities a man should look for in a woman,because In the end it still may not be enough.Everyone has baggage in some shape form or fashion. Its how they deal and/or let the person their with help them deal with it. You cannot mistake optimism with stupidity. Example should a woman stay with a man who clearly cannot admit he has a failing business no matter how hard she has tried to hold him down? A woman can be a good woman with or without some of these qualities. It takes a good man to see it.
Let me be the one for you please
Not to be rude but you said " it's kind of childish to think that a person should make you happy. Joy should rest on you in the comfort that someone has your back and is pushing you to do something great with your life." But I thought that's what our parents were for. :-/
What i mean by childish is that person being the one who makes you happy. Yes they shouldnt do things purposely to make you unhappy but they can and they will. but because of them not satisfying your feelings doesnt make them the wrong person for you. We live in a society that says its all good if they make you happy. Yet in reality it isnt true. But if that person makes you mature in areas that you need to mature in, it will not be a happy moment. Joy is something that endures through unhappy moments. Joy usually comes after a struggle and struggles are never happy times, but joyful moments of growth. If that person makes you grow and you make them grow and you both are looking to get the best out of each other, then it is a great relationship that will most likely end in marriage.
hey i havent been avoinding you or anything i just dont have my cousins phone anymore and the only way i can talk to you now is on pof the website i dont want to talk on but its the only way sorry baby
I don't think trust is the foundation of a relationship. Parents have unconditional love for their children but don't trust all the decisions their children make. Everyone has a form of what we call "baggage" which can be looked at as a red flag of what one will not tolerate.
Good work. I think it's important that we confront ourselves with Key points that help us to step up instead of step out.
Baggage :0 lol
Ur very on point wit this relationship talk….Ur a blessing
Good information!
Nice…
where in the world can I find women like these ???? where where ??????????? this is fantasy stuff
Nope…
My mother is actually the opposite and I pray my wife is like her….. *Shrug* nice read tho
big up your self man. real talk…..
BAD advice! Sounds like they are trying to set you up
for Miss Perfect, WHICH DOES NOT EXIST< baggage, we all have it, the
difference is are you man enough to help off load it. Don't pass up a beautiful
woman who otherwise is perfect for you because of a few imperfections all in
short keep in mind- You- MR. are no angel.
BAD advice! Sounds like they are trying to set you up
for Miss Perfect, WHICH DOES NOT EXIST< baggage, we all have it, the
difference is are you man enough to help off load it. Don't pass up a beautiful
woman who otherwise is perfect for you because of a few imperfections all in
short keep in mind- You- MR. are no angel.
Nice read… Filled with positive info
all these points can also be said of Mr.Right
Great article. I admit I have trust and esteem issues and I believe I might have lost a potential Boaz.
I believe these six points are a good guide for men and women too. I have seen men create real drama situations that left me stunned.
I believe these should be for men and woman but.. I been with a man a year and a half and he still has woman on his phone he dated when we first met. .. why do guys do this if he is committed to me then why?? ?? Why do men make it hard for a woman to trust them?
These are good points. I believe any relationship worth having is worth putting the work in.
THANK YOU! IVE BEEN WONDERING THE SAME THING
This applies to both sexes .. But if you get 50% these days your on a winner 🙂
LOVE WHAT I JUST READ, IT IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!!
Men should have NO unresolved issues. They tend to hide their issues using detachment, anger, control, and…blaming the nearest woman. Next, men may be less apt to stir drama because…they are typically more passive aggressive and when they act out their rage they do so in a covert manner, and then…blame the nearest woman.
I have sone work to do. I have 2 out of the 6.
Yes I am all of these!!! thank you 🙂
Sounds like YOU have plenty unresolved issues w/men. Why do scorned women speak of what MEN think, as if they themselves have ever lived one day as a male/man…. men & women are simply wired differently…. good/bad/indifferent. Build a bridge & get over it sista! Smh lol
Jay Atkins: I'm simply responding to a point made in the article that "women should have no unresolved issues". Men are typically allowed unresolved issues as it is commonly thought that a good woman can change all that. The standard for men and women should be the same, and it is in God's economy. Both should be well prepared for life and love by being Godly. Having sad that, men and women are "wired" differently which is why men tend to be less dramatic, more passive agressive and blaming. The Story of Adam and Eve display nicely this hard wiring of men (and women ) when acting outside of God's Will. Adam was a blame shifter! Anyway, women being more emotional are blamed by men for being a problem or starting problems. It's a deflection men use to belittle and control, and women fall for it. Stick with Scripture!
Makes a whole lot of sense….gotta get the book and read it…i am a work in progress…i got 2 out of 3 to Disha Lobley
So let me get this correct, you accuse (Men, not some but a generalized statement that implies "All"), to describe (All)Men as "blamers" "deflectors",etc yet both of ur statements are doing exactly what you've accused (All)Men of doing…. I did not see where you spoke of how (WE ALL have FREE WILL, she/he makes choices to involve ourselves w/ppl or situations, be it positive or detrimental To our well-being. It's "Ying/Yang" "give & take", we mustn't be hypocrites Nor contradictory in our statements and or assessments Queen. That does more harm than good. P.s. if anything the example u have given, about Adam & Eve does more to boost the point that some may have that "women are manipulative and selfish, which ultimately Will bring down any man who may truly love her…" just an opinion I've once heard. 1luv Michele
Thank God I am this woman on my own and to my man.
I'm gonna call bullshit on #s 1,2 & 6. 80% of the people you meet, male or female, have baggage. If you decide not to deal with a person because they have baggage, you just might miss your soul mate. He who does not have issues himself let him cast the first stone.
#2. Excuse me… my mom is a pretty awesome lady and I am far from a momma's boy. Nothing wrong with wanting a woman as loving, caring and nurturing as your momma. Most men don't purposefully seek women like that. Subconsciously that is what we gravitate towards. We need a woman that has our back just like mom did.
#6. Everyone isn't optimistic. Nothing wrong with a pessimistic person because they spot things that optimists don't. My woman loves me to reassure her she is beautiful and wanted. Every day if needed. Sounds like this writer has a problem with women in general. What man doesn't tell his woman she's beautiful and worthy, everyday? Something wrong with making your woman feel like the Queen she is?
I might get some backlash for this, but I'm cool with that. Stop believing everything on social media just because it's there. Use your own judgment people.
I read the article as well as some of the comments. These are some really great points on both sides. I am still single since my divorce because I know that none of the men who have come my way are my “him”. Once I realize it, I won’t waste my time nor his money by continuing to go out with him. It is just not worth it to let the wrong people into my spirit and then be left with the self-esteem and trust issues that the writer described. As women, we need to learn not to settle for less than that imperfectly perfect man that God has for each of us. So for me, the wait continues until the Lord says it’s time. And please don’t take me saying this as if it is easy to do because some days I do cry out to the Lord but I know the reward of faithfulness!
Great information and I do agree with mostly everything, however I do believe a woman can have similar traits a guys mother has that are positive….such as being a nurture, a protector, points out things that my not be the best choice. Supporting things which may have a negative impact on his life should be important traits to stay away from. This woman should have a strong relationship with God and know the difference between unconditional and conditional love
Great information and I do agree with mostly everything, however I do believe a woman can have similar traits a guys mother has that are positive….such as being a nurture, a protector, points out things that my not be the best choice. Supporting things which may have a negative impact on his life should be important traits to stay away from. This woman should have a strong relationship with God and know the difference between unconditional and conditional love
I was googling up, if "she is right for the next relationship" and came across this article, as somebody might get into my life soon…
It is pretty straight forward… but I see that it is also a bit oversimplified.
For example, I dated a girl, which was all from the above – but she was just not compatible. I think a similar intellect is also important. The problem what I have is, that "the new girl" is really nice, but she just might not be able to keep up with me. And I see myself already down the road, that this will end up in "chaos".
Am a bit confused…
Good work, keep writing inspirng piece bro
Great information…
My opinion, I don't think you read #2 past the headline. What I gathered from what he wrote was that a woman should try to change a man. A mother raises her son to be a man and a female shouldn't try to mold a man into who she think he should be. And for #6 he didn't say to not tell your woman that she's beautiful everyday, he simply said that being around negative people can bring you down. And that's not just in a relationship, that's in everyday life. You attract the company you keep. No one, and I mean no one wants to hang around negative and sad ass people all day.
Very nice
Great words! But I'm curious because for Mr. Right, you mentioned that he should have a relationship with God. But what about Mrs. Right? If not, these six signs would really be in vain and the relationship would cause them to be unequally yoked. It was just a thought. But both articles were great!
Great article Stephan! Hips, eyes, and thighs, should not be the barometer by which a man should measure a potential wife. A wife who has a relationship with God would be more ideal. Why? Because she is able to stand at the intersection of his awesomeness and ugliness, and still encourage him to “better his best.” When life deals him a bad hand, she helps him to reshuffle the deck and look at the problem with a new perspective. At the end of the day, a marriage is valued by what a husband and wife are willing to sacrifice for it. ❤️??
https://youtu.be/jkQDDlXpGLQ