Ok so let’s set the scene. You have a guy out with some of his boys. It could be a club, the mall, or anywhere else you can think of. He sees a beautiful woman with a couple of her friends and he decides he wants to make a move. So he approaches her and says “excuse me miss, you caught my eye and I think you look real good. I was hoping we could talk and get to know each other”. She then says “I’m sorry but I’m not interested” and tries to continue walking away. He looks at her…pauses…then says “SCREW YOU B**CH!!…you old smelly vagina having…real housewives, bad girls club, jersey shore reject looking…think your too damn good and that’s why your ass is lonely now…B**CH!!”
Whoa Whoa Whoa! This guy has never even seen this woman’s vagina much less smelled it. Yet he still feels compelled to verbally attack her with false accusations and endless insults. He insists on completely disrespecting her and why? All because his ego has been hurt. Now men I know that nobody likes rejection. I also understand that sometimes the woman may respond with a negative and unnecessary attitude. Despite all of that we still have to do better. Resorting to this kind of negative behavior is uncalled for and it just needs to stop. The reality we all have to face is that not every woman is going to like us…and guess what? We won’t like all of them either so we’re even. It’s as simple as that. You try, you failed, and you live to see another day. It serves you no good to unleash all that negativity on her and honestly it makes you seem a little “b**ch-like”. We are men and we need to learn to brush it off and not internalize a situation like this. Also we have to take a moment to understand the woman in many of these situations. Chances are she actually is attractive (if she wasn’t then you likely would not have tried to talk to her) and with that said she probably gets hit on all the time. Could you imagine having to deal with person after person trying to talk to you. People who aren’t even genuine about getting to know you but are just trying to get some booty? Ok many of you would love that last part but you know very well what I’m getting at. Not to mention the example I gave above was a nice approach. Some of you out there come with a disrespectful and rude approach to begin with. What do you really expect to happen? Just because it worked on that chick with lower standards does not mean you should allow yourself to believe every other woman should be ok with it. So add that all up and throw in the fact that maybe she’s having a bad day, just not feeling well, etc. Chances are you wouldn’t be as receptive to another person approaching you either. So if she isn’t interested then so be it. There are plenty of other women to choose from and no need to stress over that one woman or two or ten who rejected you that day. It’s a numbers game my friend and you will eventually get what you are looking for.
I only gave an example of the first approach but no matter the situation the principle remains the same. We don’t need to view that woman in a negative manner simply because she isn’t interested. If she was rude with how she handled it well I understand the urge to fire back but it’s just not worth it. We have to start moving in a better direction with our lives. Engaging in unnecessary negative behavior is what we should all avoid. Just view it as that woman’s loss is the next woman’s gain. Nobody should have that much power to get you to stoop to that level. Especially for something as reasonable as simply not being interested.
20 thoughts on “She’s Not Interested But That Doesn’t Make Her A B**ch”
Lol Loved this article, very realistic and practical. A man’s ego is so fragile and can be like an eggshell around his “boys”. But like you said, it’s not worth it because at that point, nothing you do is going to change your L. Actually, just letting it go increases your chances in case there’s a “next time” where she’s having a better day, maybe in a better situation(single), etc. Nothing good comes of putting her down, just proves your feelings are hurt.
Lol Thanks Derrick and you said something very important “Actually, just letting it go increases your chances in case there’s a “next time” where she’s having a better day, maybe in a better situation(single), etc. Nothing good comes of putting her down” very true and on point. Not to mention the other women you turn off that may have caught you acting an ass because your feelings are hurt. We just have to encourage each other to do better.
I hear women complain about this very often, LOL. I think this kind of reaction is just not classy at all.
Not at all and it’s a shame that it happens so much.
That’s typically a young/immature man’s reaction. But you have to admit, some women shoot straight past rejection and try to rip a man’s balls off in public. Just the way it is.
Lmao you are not lying my friend. Some women take it too far and set the stage for an all out battle. So both sides have to remain poised and positive. Rejection doesn’t have to be so negative.
Women act very snobby after rejection as well, especially in public.
I feel you and I will address that as well as the ones who choose to be so negative in letting that man down.
My husband asked a woman where she got her boots from because he wanted to buy me a pair. When she found out he was talking to her fro purely informational purposes and that he wasn’t coming on to her she went off so rudely it resulted in him embarrassing the hell out of her in front of her friends… at the mall..very loudly..
We also could be telling you we aren’t interested because we are married or already in a happy relationship – this situation has happened to me- more times than I care to count! I am never rude either…I’m glad a man wrote about this!
That happened to me ironically in high school and in two churches I went to-
**CLAPS HANDS** Very well done, Sir. LOVE!
Its even worst when you completely ignore them! When I was in high school I’ve had a brick and a really big piece of rubel thrown at me. So immature! That was when I was shy and wouldn’t even focus in the same direction of a guy. Then I started to reply “No, thank you” like he offered me a bag of peanuts lol! The trick is to smile with a hint of flattery, politely decline, and slowly (not too slow) walk away. They got better once I mastered that, but some men are just complete buttholes no matter how polite a woman is.
This really happens? You are talking about boys, not men.
This is an excellent post Stephan! You’re right on men decieving themselves because if the women didn’t look good then he wouldn’t have went up to her in the first place, so his ego is clearly bruised, lol and me being a man myself we’ve all dealt with this type of situation, where you get rejected and you “feel” like a loser, right? Well the keyword is FEEL, the reason why he even responded negatively is because he’s attached to the outcome, and he ties his ego/identity/self-worth to that one interaction. which doesn’t make sense at all because he will probably have hundreds more over his life time. This is what was taught to me at an early age, indifference or carefreeness. it really is the most powerful way of being. moving through your life un-attached to outcomes but committed to the process. also, he acted as if that was his last girl that he would ever talk to……lol it’s so subtle, but irrational when you think about it.
man this comment is almost better than what Stephen put up
But how do you balance that with your actual feelings….. And maybe the distinction you are making is your actually feelings come Into play later on down the line when you are in a relationship with that woman?
Good point of view. I guess most of the time when the guy is accompanied with his friends he might be slightly embarrassed. But then again it doesn'[t give him the reason to act like that towards the woman. Nicely written.
I love her point of view and yes he felt cut down by her rejection, young men need to no that its ok to be rejected, dont take it as a let down and become a woman hater, really she won that because she kept walkin and he was mousing making him look bad, Good point made!!
A very valid point people are introduced in your life for various reasons and it's not always a romantic relationship